Child Dedication Letter

Abby, Caedmon and Caleb, today we celebrate the opportunity to dedicate each of you to God.  To dedicate means to "set apart for a certain purpose". This is a day that we make a promise to you and to God in front of our friends. The promise that Mommy and Daddy want to make today is that we are committed to setting an example for you of how to be Christ-followers. Mommy and I love Jesus very much and we want to live our lives following His example.  We pray that you each will be able to see our example and one day have a relationship with Jesus too.  Mommy and I promise to live each day seeking to teach you constantly about God and His promises from the time that we wake up in the morning to the time that we go to bed. When we eat and even when we play, we will seek to direct you always toward the Lord.

We believe that  you are  unique and treasured gifts from the Lord.  Because of that, we have given each of you a name with purpose.  Abigayle Grace, your name means "A Father's Joy" and "Grace."  It is our prayer for you that you will grow into a young lady full of joy which comes from the Lord and his salvation and that you will come to understand His enveloping Grace in your life.  We pray that as you develop friendships and journey through your life, you will be able to extend grace into the lives of all that you  meet. We pray, too, that you will have joy and laughter in your life. That you will live your life not in fear but in trust because of the Truth that guides you. We pray  that you will continue to grow in knowledge, the things you know in your head, but also that you will grow in your heart knowledge.We pray that you will trust more deeply and will not be afraid. For you, we pray that Psalm 28:7 will become your joyful song throughout your life: "The LORD is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and I am helped. My heart leaps for joy and I will give thanks to him in song." 

Caedmon Alexzander, Your name means "Wise Warrior" and  "Defender of Man".  Granted, there are some days when I wonder at our wisdom in naming you "Warrior and Defender".  Some days I wish we would have named you something that means "Peaceful Field" or "Quiet River".  :) However, we believe that God has given each of us an opportunity to live for Him and to serve His kingdom on this earth. Saint Caedmon, according to church history,  lived to tell others the stories of God. He related Biblical truth in ways that others of his day could understand. Our prayer for your life comes from the Bible.  Micah 6:8: "He has showed you, O man, what is good. And what does the LORD require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God."We pray that you, Son, will love God with all of your mind, all of your strength and all of your heart. That you will love other people and that you will be filled with compassion. We pray that you will have wisdom and a desire to defend the wronged and those who have been over-looked.

Caleb Justus, you are our newest little Campbell.  We tossed around several names for you, but we continually returned to Caleb Justus, because of its rich meaning. Your name means, "Whole-hearted" and "Just".  Caleb is a man from the Old Testament who the Lord says "has a different spirit and has followed me fully."  When others did not trust in God's ability to deliver them, Caleb chose to follow God fully, trusting him.  It is our prayer for you, Son, that you will choose to follow God fully and whole-heartedly even if others around you choose differently. We pray that you will be guided by Truth and will grow in your knowledge of what is good and right and that you will be just in all your ways.  Always, remember Proverbs 2:6-8:  "For the Lord gives wisdom, and from his mouth come knowledge and understanding. He holds victory in store for the upright, he is a shield to those whose walk is blameless, for he guards the course of the just and protects the way of his faithful ones."

God is Able...But More Than That, HE IS GOOD!

A few weeks ago at church, I sank down into the chair, unable to sing the words to the songs. I loved the songs...I just felt like in that moment, they didn't apply to my life.  I couldn't sing the words with any real depth in my soul. And since I sing my worship to God, the creator of me, and He already knew my heart, I figured why pretend? So I sat and prayed my real feelings.

The1st  song: "God is Able".
My prayer: I KNOW you are able. But I don't know that you actually WILL.

The 2nd song: "Your Grace Is Enough"
My prayer: I know it SHOULD be enough, but I have these other needs, that you seem to be ignoring...

Honestly, I've been wrestling with those feelings for weeks. My question has never been "Can He provide?"  But more, "WILL He provide?" A trust issue, I guess. A skeptical response, to be sure.

I even confessed to a friend at church that I AM praying...but not because He is answering my prayers, or even that I think He is going to answer them anymore...I'm only praying because He tells us in scripture to pray.

Have you ever prayed for circumstances and things only seem to get darker or harder? That's where I've been. It seemed as though the more I prayed, the worse things were getting.  I even began to be astounded by comments like, "He is for us."  "He never leaves us." "He is good."

But then I read something in a devotional book that I've been following:

 "I am Light, in whom there is no darkness at all. The assurance that I am entirely Good meets your basic need for security. Your life is not subject to the whims of a sin-stained deity." Jesus Calling, May 5  There is no darkness in Him. God is not sin-stained and leading me along a path with skewed judgement. He is GOOD.  He IS good.

The light-bulb clicked on for me.  He is good, whether I choose to believe it or not.  He does not change, and He is not wracked with sin...He is TRUTH. He is LIGHT. He is GOOD. And I am thankful.

And so an intricate truth began to take root in my heart. "God IS able. That doesn't mean that He necessarily WILL.  But even if He doesn't, He is STILL GOOD.  And I trust Him. He is my hope."

For other, more mature Christ-Followers, this may seem very elementary to you...and you may be rolling your eyes, saying, "of course, silly."  But to this restless heart, it was a profound truth that I desperately needed to learn and now cling to everyday.

Actually, this truth became unhidden to me on the day I went to the OB to find out if Baby Caleb was still breach.  Everyone had been telling me that he would turn, and that God was in control.  Well, I knew that God was in control, but that didn't mean that Caleb would necessarily turn downward!  I know plenty of people who believed God was in control of their lives but for whatever reason, God chose to leave a particular prayer(s) unanswered.

The drive to the doctor's office is a long one, so I had plenty of time to pray. I started out making my half-hearted request that Caleb would be head-down, and then for wisdom in the decisions that would follow if he was still breach. By the time I arrived at the office, I had settled in my heart that even if Caleb was breach, I would STILL praise God for His goodness.

I remembered Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego in the book of Daniel as they faced being thrown into a fiery furnace, leading to certain death.  Their response, born out of total trust in God: "If this be so, our God whom we serve is able to deliver us from the burning fiery furnace, and he will deliver us out of your hand, O king. But if not, be it known to you, O king, that will will not serve your gods or worship the golden image that you have set up." Daniel 3:17-18.

He will deliver us...but even if he doesn't we will still serve him.  His answer to our prayers does not change his character and his worthiness of praise.  That's trust.  I want to live that kind of trust.

And then I felt thankful...for the first time in weeks, truly thankful. Realizing that God owes me nothing, and that He is worthy of praise despite "unanswered prayers"...my heart can rest, because I trust that HE IS GOOD. 

 His grace IS enough.

I'm thankful for this time of desert praying.  It has taught me, ingrained in me, truths about God that I wouldn't have known otherwise. For the first time in my journey as a Christ-Follower, I feel like I'm understanding what is truly important in my relationship with Him.  It's not about what He can give me, or even about Him answering all my deepest prayers. It is about trusting Him with my life, surrendering control to Him daily regardless of the outcome.  This is the deepest form of trust, to be able to confess that even if He took everything I hold dear, I would still follow Him because HE is where my hope rests.

"But as for me, I will look to the LORD. I will wait for the God of my salvation; my God will hear me." Micah 7:7

 

Happy 3rd Birthday Caedmon!

Caedmon, Caedmon, Caedmon!  You are 3 now!  I honestly can't believe it! It was only last year that you could barely talk, and now you can  give me a reasonable explanation as to why you simply had climb on top of the table to reach the ceiling fan and attach Spiderman  to the string before jumping down.

Well, life has certainly been nothing shy of an adventure since you came into our family, and I'm so very thankful for you.  Your life has added depth and richness to my own life and to our family.  So in honor of your 3rd birthday, here is a Birthday Blog dedicated to you and 3 ways in which your personality has developed this past year!

1.  You are a hero! No adventure is too big for you! Not only do you pretend to be every hero from Batman to Fireman Sam, but you also genuinely care for others.  Each day, you dress up in a hero costume and create situations in which you can come to the rescue.  Some days there are "fires" in the kitchen and you grab my hand to lead me to safety.  Other days, the "bad guys" are in the city and you give me, Daddy, Abby (and sometimes even Sophie) super-hero names so that we can join you in the battle against evil!  Always, always, you save the day! But in "real life", too, you don't like for people to cry.  You are quick to hug and quick to forgive.  One day at Kids Cove, I watched as you attempted to scare off a 7 or 8 year old boy that was growling at all the kids. Abby had tried to climb to the top of the tree, and the boy growled at her making her cry.  After hearing Abby's story, you said, "I'll go check!" and ran away in effort to locate the growler.  Then you came back and reported that you told him "No!" I love your spirit of courage.  I pray that it grows and becomes deeply rooted in wisdom! :)

2.  You are a lover!  Oh my word, I have never known a little boy to be so loving and affectionate.  From the day you were born, you have enjoyed snuggling close.  You still like to hold my hand and you hug and kiss me all the time.  One of my favorite things during the day is helping you settle down for nap time because after all your chatter ends, you snuggle in close and either hold my hand, or stroke my face until you fall asleep. More often than not your final words before drifting off to sleep are "I loves you, Mommy."  I loves you too, sweetheart! Very much! And my absolute favorite is when I cook your favorite food.  Once while I was standing at the stove, you leaned over and hugged me and said, "I loves you SO much when you cooking." :)  And some days if I cook a food you particularly love, you can hardly sit still long enough to eat it because you are touching my arm and thanking me and kissing me for cooking your meal!  I certainly will know what to tell your future wife some day!

3. You are comedian! If there is one thing I've learned from you Caedmon Alexzander it would be to laugh.  You are able to find the humor in almost any situation and your laughter is contagious! One of my favorite things to hear you say is "It's my JOKE!"  You are able to find the joy in life and invite others to join in.  Every day is a new day of joy to you.  I love your light-hearted spirit, it brings life to our family!

Happy Birthday, Son!  Always remember that Mommy and Daddy love you and are so very proud of you! You are a most excellent little brother to Abby and I look forward to seeing you grow as a big brother to Caleb!

Baby Caedmon's 1st full day home.

.

Caedmon turns 1!!

Diving into the cake at age 2!

My hero turns 3...or...is it 5?...No, definitely 3!

Good Gifts - A Lesson in Prayer

"If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him."  Matthew 7:11 NIV

I love when God takes an everyday experience and teaches me something new and deep about Himself, especially when it comes through one of my kids.

Two weeks ago, we were invited to a birthday party of one of our very dear little friends.  I took the kids to pick out a special present for our 2 year old little buddy.  We came home and immediately wrapped the gift in a pretty little bag with yellow fluffy paper.  And then it sat in our kitchen for a week, waiting for the birthday girl to tear into it.

And it tormented my son.  Even though he knew what was in it, he wanted to open it.  He wanted it to be HIS birthday because he wanted to open that present. Everyday he asked me for a present and wanted to know if it was his birthday yet.

One morning, he came into my bed while it was still dark.  He snuggled up next to me, and continued his normal morning routine.  He kissed my arm, patted my face and said, "I loves you, Mommy, all the way to the woof [roof]" but then he added, "I want a present!" 

I was a little annoyed...the sun wasn't even shining yet and he was already demanding a present and was less than happy when I told him that he had to wait for his own birthday.  But then almost immediately, my mind began to make a list of things I wanted to give him for his birthday.  I know him.  I know what he likes. I know what he needs. I know what he will enjoy and play with for weeks following his own special day. I know that he will appreciate his gifts far more on his birthday than if I just gave into every whim for a present. And I know that the brightly colored gift sitting in the kitchen was fueling his perceived need for gifts.

But I also know (all too well)  that desire to get a special gift, a present to fill that need of feeling special particularly when you see others around you getting gifts.

In fact, later that morning, without a thought to my previous conversation with Caedmon, I began to journal a prayer to God.  It was all about some pretty big needs we have in our family right now.  And I wrote to Him about the many, many times I have come to Him and asked Him for these things.  And I complained about how I had viewed at least 3 other people on Facebook who had received the "present" that I have been asking for. And I informed God that he hasn't given me mine yet.

Sound like a 2 year old, desperately wanting to open a beautiful, brightly colored present in the kitchen?  Yeah...it did to me too.  And I stopped my writing. And I began to cry.

I remembered Matthew 7:11. If I know how to give good gifts to my children, even in my sinful state, then how much more my perfect heavenly Father knows how to give good gifts.  My Father knows me. He knows what I like. He knows what I need. He knows the jealousy in my heart over others' gifts.  He knows the importance of a well-timed gift.  He already knows how and when He is going to provide for me.  And just as Caedmon must wait and trust me and my timing, so, too must I trust my Father and His timing. 

I've noticed that my prayers have changed since that morning.  While not perfect in my patience, I have a much more thankful and less fretful disposition as I wait for the things God has for me. I have a peace.  He knows my needs. His timing is perfect. And I trust Him.

Local Woman Declares Dentist Appointment: Most Stressful EVER!

This just in!  Names have been changed to protect the innocent (and the guilty).

Lynchburg, VA--The day started out as any other as local woman, Mrs. N. Shambles, loaded up her young, home schooled children for a fun and exciting field trip to see Dr. Fun, the family's dentist.  The children: Drama D. Queen (5 years old) and L. McQueen (2 years old) hadn't been off the farm since their weekly trip to church on Sunday, so they were said to be very "keyed up" by the experience.

Upon arrival to Dr. Fun's office, N. Shambles was said to have her son, L. McQueen, strapped into a stroller due to his deep belief that he is, in fact, a real race car and will run at high speeds and in circles when allowed to roam free.  Unfortunately for the local population, L. McQueen quickly discovered how to manipulate and disassemble the said stroller, setting himself free.  Miss Shambles was further left defenseless because she forgot to bring the "tire taming treats" along with her.  L. McQueen is known to sit still for the duration of a cup of gram cracker snacks. Unfortunately, those treats were sitting on the kitchen counter next to the door.

Dr. Fun's office is fully equipped with toys and books galore in an area set apart from the rest of the public in ensure that wild children will be entertained.  But apparently, some grown-ups believe the toys are for nervous adult patients so L. McQueen and D. Queen were forced to share the play space with <gasp> grown-ups.  However, children and adults were said to have played nicely together with exception of one woman who left to use her cell phone to make an anonymous call.

Miss Patience, the hygienist, came to retrieve N. Shambles and her two children from the play area.  With a smile, she reports telling N. Shambles that it will be fine to have both children in the room with her.

A pleasant field trip quickly turned sour as L. McQueen began revving his engines and speeding around the room.  Once in the chair, N. Shambles lost all control.  L. McQueen is reported to have discovered "by accident" that the big gray pad on the floor with the arrows, controls the dental chair holding his mother.  The first time he caused his mother's chair to lower startled him.  The second, third and fourth times were believed to be pure entertainment. Only after L. McQueen lowered his mother's head to the point that she was nearly upside down did Miss Patience step in, telling L. McQueen, that "Mommy is going to be standing on her head!"  This only served as incentive to L. McQueen. And in his hast to see mommy on her head, he discovered the power switch controlling the dental tools by hopping onto the electrical box. More than once Miss Patience had to ask D. Queen to flip the switch so that her tools could have power.

Not to be outdone by her younger brother, D. Queen decided to finally turn on some magic of her own.  Dutifully, she began directing her younger brother...some reported this as coming across as "extreme bossiness".  No one really knows what happened next as words began to fly: "Don't touch me!" "No don't touch me!"  "Mommy, he's touching me." "No I not!"  Ending with D. Queens wild tears as she held her face claiming the race car child had pinched her before speeding off.

N. Shambles reports feeling totally helpless as Miss Patience had 2 tools and hands in her mouth leaving her unable to respond verbally, and unable to respond physically as she lay in the chair with her 8 month pregnant belly and feet high in the air.

Eventually, L. McQueen sped close enough to N. Shambles arms that she was able to latch onto him with what may be described as a death grip. L. McQueen quickly turned on the charm and began licking N. Shambles entire arm.  This was quite preferable to the licking of the lamp stand which occurred later in the visit.

At this point, all seemed to be quiet and manageable until Miss Patience pricked N. Shambles gums and she began to bleed.  This was too much for D. Queen who began to hide her eyes and whine loudly about not wanting to sit in the chair next. She was deemed inconsolable.

Shambles was delighted to be free from her captivity in the dental chair if for no other reason than to hold L. McQueen down until he ran out of gas.  However, D. Queen absolutely refused to sit in the chair because of her deep fear of pain.  She began to wail and sob so loudly that doctors and nurses came from other rooms to witness what was assumed to have been pulling of teeth without novacane. Miss Patience stood back saying, "I haven't done anything!  She hasn't even sat down yet!"  N. Shambles decided to let loose of L. McQueen in effort to subdue D. Queen.  L. McQueen wasted no time with his new freedom exploring all the example toothbrushes on the counter.

After prying open D. Queen's tiny, strong little mouth, N. Shambles and Miss Patience were able to successfully polish D. Queen's teeth with strawberry toothpaste.  The best part of the experience for D. Queen was the suction straw which she then refused to let loose of and had to be forced to open her mouth.

Dr. Fun, who is apparently a "Child-Whisperer" in his spare time wasted not a moment in calming the children.  With his bright peach shirt and rainbow colored bow-tie, he immediately had D. Queen in a fit of giggles and even L. McQueen slowed his pace long enough to offer a view of his own teeth to Dr. Fun.  N. Shambles would have hugged Dr. Fun had she not been hunkered down in the corner twitching from exhaustion.  Dr. Fun reports that all parties involved had healthy teeth and gums and that the children were even offered new tooth brushes and toys from the treasure box  as motivation to get them out sooner   because they were so well behaved.

N. Shambles was said to be mumbling to herself as she left the building.  One eye witness reports hearing, "never again. never again. never...never...never..."

We are, however, happy to report that Mrs. N Shambles and children returned home to the farm safely.  N. Shambles found comfort in a homemade fruit smoothie and the children were fed a healthy snack as well. There are slight complications in N. Shambles well-being which are due to the mental fog in which she finds herself.  For example, she reportedly did not twist the bottom of the blender tightly enough allowing fruit smoothie to ooze into the motor of the blender creating a stench of smoke.  Later, N. Shambles reports smoothie falling out of her cup splattering purple smoothie gunk onto the side of D. Queens face.  Both females were said to be laughing hysterically. Perhaps to keep from crying. L. McQueen ended our interview with these final words "But that's okay!"

Abigayle Grace

My Dearest Abby,

I can't believe you are 5 years old now!  Mostly because, I remember being 5.  I remember wearing a blue shirt and walking outside with my cousins who were 6 years older than me, and I distinctly remember thinking that I knew more than they did. This is one of my first memories, in fact.  So believe me when I say, I know what it's like to be 5! 

I thought I would tell you a little about why we named you Abigayle Grace. Waaaay back in the year 2002, Daddy and I were sitting at a coffee shop discussing baby names.  We were not yet even dating...but that day we scribbled on a napkin the names of our 4 or 5 kids that we would one day have if we decided to get married. (I think we both knew then that we would get married very soon!)  :)  I wish...oh I wish...I still had that napkin.  But the first name on our list (and the only one I remember with clarity) was Abigail Grace Campbell. 

We loved this name because Abigail means "A father's joy" and Grace means "An undeserved gift".  Since it's such a common name, we determined to add our own flare by changing the spelling.  We must have had an entire sheet of notebook paper with different variations scribbled all over it.  Finally we settled on Abigayle.

These five years have been filled with joy and I am often breathless as I think about how much of a gift you are to our family. In honor of your birthday, Abigayle, here are 5 ways that I have seen you grow this past year: 


1. You've grown in your compassion for other people.  I have joined with you as you pray for your friends and family who are sick or sad  or hurting.  I've listened to you try to calm your crying brother with soothing words and hugs. And my heart swells each time someone is getting "picked on" and you stand to that person's defense.  You have a heart for people.  You are sensitive to their needs, and I LOVE that about you!

2. Your sense of humor has grown in major ways this year!  You make me laugh with each of your knock knock jokes.  I love hearing your songs that you create, especially as you try out different rhyming words.  And my favorite is when we both hear or see something funny, then look at each other and laugh our heads off!  You bring joy to life in our family.

3. I'm amazed at your growth in responsibility this past year. With 2 and at one time 3 pets, you willingly feed and water them without complaint.  You offer to wash dishes and clean windows just because. And on days when I'm exhausted, your willingness to serve is such a blessing! There was even one day when Caedmon refused to let me change his diaper.  He only wanted "Sissy" to do it.  Instead of refusing, you went into the bathroom and said, "Ooo-kay!" I love your willingness to step up and take on extra tasks without expecting anything in return!

4. Oh how I have enjoyed your growth in imagination and sense of adventure.  You've created your own comic book series called "Adventure Girls" and I can't wait for you to publish these stories one day!  I enjoy hearing about each new character and the super powers that she possesses. I love playing in the yard with you and going on monster quest hunts for porcupines and meerkats. I never know what each day will hold in your world, and that is exciting stuff!

5.Finally, I've been really impressed with a new sense of giving to others that I've seen in you. Sometimes I think you pamper your brother by letting him have the toy that you are playing with...but as I look more deeply, it seems that you just want him to be happy and are willing to give to him.  When you have friends over, you are willing to share your toys and even your newest nail polish.  When you have two snack cakes, you save one for your Daddy.  You are an example to me, my dear!

You told me today that you are nervous about being 5.  You said that you are afraid that you may not be able to handle it.  First, I want you to know that I believe in you.  You will be able to handle anything that comes your way this year. And for those things that come up that you may feel uncertain about, you can count on me and Daddy to walk with you and help you along the way.

This next year, my prayer for you is that you will continue to grow in knowledge, the things you know in your head.  I pray that you will continue learning and enjoying the process of learning.  But I also pray that you will grow in your heart knowledge.  I pray that you will learn to trust more deeply and will not be afraid.  There is a verse that I learned a long time ago: "When I am afraid, I will trust in you. " Psalm 56:3.  My prayer is that you will learn this year to put your faith in Jesus and trust Him more and more. 

Abigayle Grace, it is my absolute joy to be your Mommy.  I delight in you. If I could line up all the Abby's in the world and pick one out to be my little girl, do you know who I would pick?  I would pick you. Every. Single. Time.

Happy Birthday, 5 Year Old!!!
Love,
Mommy

Five years and counting:

Baby Abby about 1 month old

1st Birthday

2nd Birthday

3rd Birthday

4th Birthday

5th Birthday

Asthma is Serious!

I process better by writing, and I definitely have a lot to process from the last 24 hours. 

Caed was diagnosed with asthma shortly before turning 1.  In fact, we were in the hospital on Easter weekend 2009 because of asthma related symptoms. Caed must like holidays in the peds ward...but who could blame him?  They bombard him with gifts while he's there!  This time, he walked away with a Santa teddy bear, a bag full of firemen and military men toys, a book, a quilt, a bunch of Thomas stickers and a new neb mask! 

Yesterday was supposed to be our annual fun, family trip to the mall to ride the train.  Caed had been coughing since Wednesday and even had a small episode on the way home from the grocery store.  After a treatment of his rescue meds, he was back to his normal self except for the coughing.  But he seemed to be his normal, active self. I mean I found him on top of the washing machine preparing to jump off...surely he's fine, right?  PJ and I even went over his Asthma Treatment Plan over dinner. One of the indicators for seeking medical help is if he's unable to do normal activities...but clearly he was able...so we dismissed it.

I decided to give him a regular neb treatment before leaving for the mall because of his coughing.  He is so very good about sitting with his mask on his face for treatments.  But about one minute after starting this treatment, he started wheezing, coughing, crying and doubling over in pain.  Saying his belly hurt he could not get comfortable.  He turned very pale, then blue around the lips.

We live pretty far out, and our only rescue unit comes from a town about 20 mins down the road.  The last time we called 911, the EMT advised us to never wait at home, jump in the car, head towards the hospital and call 911 on the way so that an ambulance can meet us in route.  So that's what we did. 

There are some images in a parents mind, that I think will haunt forever.  This is one of those images.  The sight of my child crying out my name, then stopping short and pulling in his lips, with fear in his eyes as he tries with all his might to suck in air only to scream my name again...So glad PJ was driving.  The rain was causing traffic to move so slowly and this wretched car in front of us would not pull over despite our flashers and attempts to signal by flashing our high beams at them.  It took much longer than it should have to reach the ambulance waiting for us in Rustburg. Finally the car in front of us pulled over right in front of the lot where the technicians were waiting.  Thanks!

So much rain.  So much fear. Ugh!  Caed's oxygen level upon arriving into the ambulance was 79. It should be 95-99.  He was lethargic, disoriented and pale. Another memory, I'll not soon forget, especially when he reached for my hand and held on tight.  I'm so thankful for "Mr. Justin" the EMT that moved quickly to treat and also keep Caed and his insane mommy calm for the duration of the trip to the hospital. 

By the time we arrived at the hospital, Caed was talking and asking Mr. Justin to drive him on the fire truck some day. Upon entering the ER, immediately the nurses fell in love with my little blue-eyed boy. He looked so small on that huge stretcher and was telling everyone that would listen about Christmas and Lightening McQueen and his future fire truck ride with Mr. Justin.  Otherwise, the ER was the ER: a painfully long wait, especially with an exhausted 2 and 4 year old. 

Around 11pm the doctor decided to discharge us. But as we were preparing to sign the paperwork, I noticed that Caed was still breathing with his belly and had significant retraction (that's where you can see the skin pulling around the ribs).  The doctor was puzzled because all other vitals were fine.  So then we were given the option of admitting him with an advisory from the doctor to do so because of our home's distance from the hospital should something happen in the middle of the night.  I hate that moment when you just. don't. know. what the right thing to do really is. What was best? Was it really necessary?

So we decided to admit and thus create another 1.5 hour wait for ourselves in the ER.  At this point, I really really really wish I had a video camera available so as to show you what we experienced with our children. Caedmon, by this time, had had several breathing treatments and two doses of a steroid. To say he was hyper is a major understatement.  He was literally bouncing all over the bed and talking nonstop: some of it was detectable, some was another form of language yet to be discovered.  And Abby. Dear, sweet, patient Abby (who by the way, figured out how to get food, drinks, a teddy bear and a coloring book from the nurse just by smiling at her as she walked by.)  I'm almost sure that Abby experienced temporary insanity induced by  exhaustion because she carried on a detailed, two-sided conversation with herself for almost 20 mins. She very clearly was taking on the role of two people and even told us that she was talking with the voices in her head.  I'll just leave it at that for now!

Finally we arrived in our room in the new, AMAZING!, peds ward at Lynchburg General.  The nursing staff there is absolutely fantastic!  They were generous to my boy that was now leaping from one piece of furniture to the next, assuring me that he wasn't possessed but was reacting to the large amount of steroids in his system. The way they cared for Caed, and secured his attention amazed and inspired me!  I do have to say that they were very impressed with his willingness to cooperate.  I was extremely thankful that I spent extra time this week praying about and working on being consistent with his obedience.  Character development: check! 

So the night consisted of meds and every hour waking (for momma!) from nurses to see how he is doing.  The intake nurse called it 23 hour Observation Care in our paper work (supposedly that makes it cheaper for us in the billing cycle! I REALLY hope that's the case).

So what I've learned about asthma:
It's real. And it's serious!  Honestly, Caed has been doing so well throughout the fall that I let my guard down and didn't take his symptoms seriously enough.  Partly because I didn't have a full understanding of how asthma works.  A person can be fine in the morning and experience a trigger and struggle the rest of the day.  Also, a person may seem fine in activity level, but really tightening of the airways is going on inside.  In Caed's case, excessive coughing is an indicator of need for rescue meds even if he's as active as normal.  Now I know!

I also didn't have a clear understanding of how to use his meds appropriately. I didn't understand how his long term and his rescue meds should be working together for effective treatment. And being afraid of over medicating, I actually was under medicating. Yes, there's mommy guilt there for me.

Now we have a much more clear Asthma Action Plan.  I know what to look for, and how to respond. I plan to keep a trigger journal to keep track of information (because, really, they asked me SO many questions about when things happened and what triggered it and how many doses I've given. I was lost...it would have been much easier and helpful to have it all documented to begin with.)  And hopefully, hopefully we can stay out of the ER from now on.

One cute side note.  As Caed and I ate our lunch together this afternoon this was his heartwarming prayer after singing the "Open-Shut Them" song he learned at church: "Dear God, Tank you for Mommy, for Abby, for me and for Daddy.  Tank you for Baby Jesus and Jesus and God. Amen!"

The only thing my little guy could talk about in the hospital today was going to ride the trains at the mall.  So, yes, we left the hospital and went straight to the mall for our annual ride!  His smile was incredible!