Class of 1998 Valedictorian Speech

I came across my valedictorian speech and thought it would be fun to share on my blog.  In 1998, there were several of us Oak Hill High School valedictorians that were allowed to speak to our graduating class.  Here was my contribution:

"As we come here today to celebrate how smart we have become, I have one final exam for the class of '98.  Just four quick questions. For the OHHS class of 1988, that's just 10 years ago, how many games did the football team win?  Who was the captain of the basketball team? Who was Miss OHHS? And lastly, who was the valedictorian?
Does anyone know the answer to all these questions?

I didn't think so.

For the last four years we have defined success by these criteria. What grade did you make? Who's the most popular?

Ten years from today, who will really care if Debbie Bragg was a valedictorian?

If today's successes are forgotten so quickly, were we really successful at all? Instead of striving for things that will soon be forgotten, maybe we should define success by a different standard.

In his poem, Success, Ralph Waldo Emerson said true success means, 'to laugh often and much, to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children, to earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends, to appreciate beauty, to find the best in others, to leave the world a bit better whether by a healthy child, a garden patch, or a redeemed social condition. To know that even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded.'

Jesus Christ put it this way, feeding the hungry, helping the homeless, clothing the poor, nursing the sick, and visiting the lonely--these things will be the things which shall last.

Throughout the past four years, I have gained a great deal of knowledge in the classroom, but the greatest lesson I have learned is this: Jesus Christ gives us the guidance we need to truly be successful. He gives me the ability to overcome all limitations and the courage to stand up for my beliefs even if I'm standing alone.

Ten years from now, I don't want to be remembered for the grades I have earned. It's not the things I've done but who I've encouraged that matters. Therefore, I encourage you, the class of 1998, to blaze your own trail by finding success in things which shall last."


**Thank you to Pastor Steve Willis who was a guide and mentor during the tough high school years**

Remember His Goodness

" It will not seem as dramatic as a miracle
It will likely go unnoticed by others
But it will be a profound change in a restless heart
It will be a soothing oil to an open wound known only to 
You and me."  ~Interludes, Michael J. Easley


This is a story of how God provided a new-to-us van.  But it is not just a story about getting a great deal on a vehicle. It's  a story about how a restless, fretful heart learned to trust and become content.

A year ago, I began praying fervently for a new van.  I was 7-ish months pregnant with our 3rd little darling and I was quite sure that our  trendy little SUV would not carry all 3 children in the back seat. In fact, I had measured each of the 3 car seats and measured our backseat and there was no way all 3 seats would fit, not to mention they needed to buckle as well.

So I prayed, confident that God would hook us up with a cool new van!
nothing.

So I prayed more, and I enlisted friends to pray with me.
nothing.

So I prayed and quoted scripture.
nothing.

Even Caedmon began praying for a van. Daily. Everyday that little boy prayed, "Thank you for our food, and we need a van." 

And then I became extremely frustrated with my "lack of answer" to my (and Caedmon's) prayers.  I began to doubt that God even heard me. I went though a period of time when I started to distrust Him, thinking things like "If I can't trust Him to answer little prayers like helping us find a van, then how could I ever trust Him with the big things?"

Then my baby was born and I panicked. What would we do?  Certainly, I would be home bound with 3 children.  Then my amazing husband found 2 car seats and a booster that were smaller and would fit with one inch to spare in the back seat.

At that point, my husband began doing something extraordinary.  He began to praise and practice thankfulness.  He started saying things like, "I'm thankful that all 3 kids will fit in the car."  And I began to follow his lead in this. Each time that I felt frustrated about having to lift the baby seat over another child and then get my hand trapped while trying to fasten the booster seat belt, I would say out loud "I'm thankful that we can all ride together in this car. God provided the wisdom to find just the right seats."
 
Before long, I began to experience contentment with our car. My desire for having a new van began to fade.  No longer did I experience jealousy with every new car photo on facebook.  We had what we needed and I was satisfied.

As my awareness of discontentment and purposeful praise grew, I began to recognize other areas of dissatisfaction and a need for thankfulness. On nights when I would fall into bed ready to cry myself to sleep, my husband would hold me tight and start naming things for which he was thankful. Then he'd make me do the same.

 Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things. Philippians 4:8

This verse isn't just a way to paint rainbows and sun shines in the world.  It's a prescription to joy for believers.  It's a practical way to change despair into hope.

And it was good. I could feel a change in my heart and my mind.

A drastic change in a restless heart that would likely go unnoticed by others. 

******

A year later we have been quite happy with our vehicle circumstances.  Our car always seemed to be experiencing weird sounds and hesitations.  So we named it Lucky because we felt very lucky if  "he" made it from point A to point B. But we were content with Lucky. We'd laugh it off each time we bounced out of the driveway.

And then one day Lucky almost didn't make it.

I was driving the 25 minute commute from Abby's co-op to home and 5 mins from home, Lucky began screaming at me and then lost all power. I pulled off the road. Both boys were asleep.  Abby and I prayed!  We also thanked God for His timing.  We thanked Him that we were so close to home.  Walking a couple of miles home is far better than being stranded in Lynchburg 25 mins away!

And Lucky started and slowly inched home.  That was the last time I drove Lucky.

PJ could get Lucky to start and drive him...but PJ is a better man than me.  I didn't have the nerves for it any more. 

I could feel that discontentment rising up in me again. I'm not going to lie. I was nervous. I cried...a lot. I even for a moment got mad at God and asked Him "What could you possibly have me to learn through this again?  Didn't I give it to you before?  Didn't we already learn this lesson?"

But I didn't want to dwell there. I have in the last 6 months experienced God's profound faithfulness in ways which will never allow me to doubt his "realness" and concern for me ever again.  He literally has turned "nothing" into "enough" for us.

So this time, I began to pray differently out of a changed heart.  Rather than simply taking my need to God and basically saying "do this", I put aside what I thought best and I prayed for trust and wisdom.

Rather than saying, "We need it. Do it."  I said, "You know our needs. I trust you."
 
This was truly a test of trust in God's provision.  A couple of  weeks before the car died, we received our income tax. What a blessing this was!  It was more than we expected.  We prayed and asked God for wisdom in how to spend the money.  We both felt strongly that, after tithe, the rest should go towards bills.  So we paid off several lingering bills and felt so content.  

"But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind." James 1:6

And then Lucky got sick.

The temptation was definitely to doubt that we made a wise choice. We could have easily gotten a nice van with that income tax.  BUT it does no good to doubt when you have prayed for wisdom.  We had to believe that He had given us that wisdom in the moment and that He must have something else to teach us from this experience.

PJ and I began searching Craigslist, used car lots, Facebook yard sales. Hours and days we spent searching for a vehicle all the while praying for wisdom and discernment.

Every deal failed.  One owner backed out of the sale at the last minute.  3 others sold before we could get to them. 2 vans just didn't "feel" right.  Sellers who had posted that same day would not return our calls or emails.

*****

Sunday afternoon, Caedmon woke up from his nap and his first words to me were urgent. "We need a van."
So I asked him if he wanted to pray together for one.
This little boy has been praying faithfully for a year for a van for our family.  On Sunday he prayed a simple prayer, "We need a van today and thank you for my food."

I was moved and a little worried about such a bold prayer of getting the van TODAY.
So I prayed, "God you know our needs. Please provide a van for us, this WEEK."  I wanted to follow Caed's boldness but thought I'd give God a little more time to work than 24 hours.

At this point, it seemed like an impossibility.  We only had $1200 to spend on a car.  Maybe $1300 if we stretched ourselves.  That night, PJ and I prayed and we added it to our "Impossible List" hanging on the fridge. We finally had a joined peace about it. We spent the evening and the next day telling each other of the things that we have learned from this experience.  We talked about the areas we have grown: trust, assurance, faith, perseverance, contentment, patience. It is good to remind each other of His faithfulness!

The next day, Monday, Abby had co-op class which meant that PJ would have to drive her since I couldn't get the car started.  I was going to stay home with the boys and let PJ and Abby go alone. At the last minute I decided to go and keep PJ company.

The car was louder and smokier than usual. On the way, we passed a van for sale. Since a parent has to be present at the co-op while a child is in class, we decided that I would stay while PJ went to check out the van.  Again, it was out of our price range.

A cold, rainy day and still no van. We were pretty bummed.   On his way back to the co-op, he passed a tiny little car lot C & C Motors with one blue van in the lot.  He stopped and asked about it and explained the condition of our car's engine.  The dealer said that he would accept our offer of $1200 and would be willing to take a risk on our car!
 

I waited patiently for the LORD; he turned to me and heard my cry. Psalm 40:1

On the way over to pick up the van, Caedmon, who knew nothing except that it was a van, said, "I hope it's blue."

My dear boy of faithful prayer!  God provided your van...and even provided a blue one!

*******

I look back over the second half of this story and see God's hand leading us in wisdom and discernment every step of the way.  This van we have is not perfect...but it is perfect for us.  It is the van we have prayed over for a year.  It is the one, above all others, that God cleared the path for us to obtain.  I love to see Him in the details. 

My trust has deepened.  He is good. He is faithful.  He is real!

Not as dramatic as a miracle...but soothing oil to this heart of mine!

*****
Abby was really sad to see Lucky go. She was quite attached to him.  So we prayed over Lucky, dedicating him for the next family to own him.  We prayed that he would be fixed and provide many more years of travel.

We tossed around a few names for the new van. Joy. Faith. Hope. The kids settled on "Chara" (pronounced "Car-ah")  which means "Joy".  Our joy is not in the van, but in the God who led us to and provided a way to have this van.  So introducing Chara the Van!  Remember His Goodness!

God is Able...But More Than That, HE IS GOOD!

A few weeks ago at church, I sank down into the chair, unable to sing the words to the songs. I loved the songs...I just felt like in that moment, they didn't apply to my life.  I couldn't sing the words with any real depth in my soul. And since I sing my worship to God, the creator of me, and He already knew my heart, I figured why pretend? So I sat and prayed my real feelings.

The1st  song: "God is Able".
My prayer: I KNOW you are able. But I don't know that you actually WILL.

The 2nd song: "Your Grace Is Enough"
My prayer: I know it SHOULD be enough, but I have these other needs, that you seem to be ignoring...

Honestly, I've been wrestling with those feelings for weeks. My question has never been "Can He provide?"  But more, "WILL He provide?" A trust issue, I guess. A skeptical response, to be sure.

I even confessed to a friend at church that I AM praying...but not because He is answering my prayers, or even that I think He is going to answer them anymore...I'm only praying because He tells us in scripture to pray.

Have you ever prayed for circumstances and things only seem to get darker or harder? That's where I've been. It seemed as though the more I prayed, the worse things were getting.  I even began to be astounded by comments like, "He is for us."  "He never leaves us." "He is good."

But then I read something in a devotional book that I've been following:

 "I am Light, in whom there is no darkness at all. The assurance that I am entirely Good meets your basic need for security. Your life is not subject to the whims of a sin-stained deity." Jesus Calling, May 5  There is no darkness in Him. God is not sin-stained and leading me along a path with skewed judgement. He is GOOD.  He IS good.

The light-bulb clicked on for me.  He is good, whether I choose to believe it or not.  He does not change, and He is not wracked with sin...He is TRUTH. He is LIGHT. He is GOOD. And I am thankful.

And so an intricate truth began to take root in my heart. "God IS able. That doesn't mean that He necessarily WILL.  But even if He doesn't, He is STILL GOOD.  And I trust Him. He is my hope."

For other, more mature Christ-Followers, this may seem very elementary to you...and you may be rolling your eyes, saying, "of course, silly."  But to this restless heart, it was a profound truth that I desperately needed to learn and now cling to everyday.

Actually, this truth became unhidden to me on the day I went to the OB to find out if Baby Caleb was still breach.  Everyone had been telling me that he would turn, and that God was in control.  Well, I knew that God was in control, but that didn't mean that Caleb would necessarily turn downward!  I know plenty of people who believed God was in control of their lives but for whatever reason, God chose to leave a particular prayer(s) unanswered.

The drive to the doctor's office is a long one, so I had plenty of time to pray. I started out making my half-hearted request that Caleb would be head-down, and then for wisdom in the decisions that would follow if he was still breach. By the time I arrived at the office, I had settled in my heart that even if Caleb was breach, I would STILL praise God for His goodness.

I remembered Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego in the book of Daniel as they faced being thrown into a fiery furnace, leading to certain death.  Their response, born out of total trust in God: "If this be so, our God whom we serve is able to deliver us from the burning fiery furnace, and he will deliver us out of your hand, O king. But if not, be it known to you, O king, that will will not serve your gods or worship the golden image that you have set up." Daniel 3:17-18.

He will deliver us...but even if he doesn't we will still serve him.  His answer to our prayers does not change his character and his worthiness of praise.  That's trust.  I want to live that kind of trust.

And then I felt thankful...for the first time in weeks, truly thankful. Realizing that God owes me nothing, and that He is worthy of praise despite "unanswered prayers"...my heart can rest, because I trust that HE IS GOOD. 

 His grace IS enough.

I'm thankful for this time of desert praying.  It has taught me, ingrained in me, truths about God that I wouldn't have known otherwise. For the first time in my journey as a Christ-Follower, I feel like I'm understanding what is truly important in my relationship with Him.  It's not about what He can give me, or even about Him answering all my deepest prayers. It is about trusting Him with my life, surrendering control to Him daily regardless of the outcome.  This is the deepest form of trust, to be able to confess that even if He took everything I hold dear, I would still follow Him because HE is where my hope rests.

"But as for me, I will look to the LORD. I will wait for the God of my salvation; my God will hear me." Micah 7:7

 

On Becoming Holy

A friend, Brittany, posted an article on her Facebook wall recently that has captured me, and is changing, the way I view relationships in my life.

You can read the full article here: Her.meneutics. Honestly, I only skimmed it briefly, but this one little truth etched itself into my brain and as I lay in bed this morning in between hitting the snooze button, God began transforming my view on the relationships and roles in my life.  I feel like I'm developing a new lens from which to see my world.

My paradigm shift came from this little sentence taken from the subtitle of a book by Gary Thomas:

“What if God designed marriage to make us holy more than to make us happy?”

What a thought!  What if God has, in His mercy, allowed certain events and relationships into my life as a tool to make me holy as He is holy?  Certainly many of these things also make me happy but happiness is not the supreme goal.  Becoming more like Christ is the goal, and in that I find joy.

Ha!  I love this because I can see it so plainly now!

In my marriage, through my growing relationship with my husband, God has taught me about forgiveness: the importance of asking for it and of giving it.  God has allowed me to experience wholeness in sexuality where brokenness and distortion nearly destroyed me.  God has given me a great friend through my husband that knows me better than I know myself at times and a teacher that helps me understand God's Word.

As a mother, God has taught me to trust Him more fully.  There is nothing in this world that creates more fear in my heart than something harmful happening to one of my children.  It's a daily surrendering of my fears and choosing to trust Him because He is good.  God has taught me the importance of consistency.  I want to impact my kids in healthy ways...who else, other than your kids, gives you a day-to-day, hour-to-hour audience?  They see me when I wake with bed-head, then through several emotions all day long until I fall into bed at night.  In learning to be consistent with them, my walk with the Lord has become more  consistent.

In friendships, He has taught me the importance of integrity, saying (and hearing) the hard things, and service.  How many times I've been blessed by a friend because they have laid down their own desires or plans for the day to help me with food, or cleaning or even a listening ear. Through friendships,  I have learned how to love others as I love myself.

Even through homeschooling my children, I'm learning the importance of honoring God with my mind and my intellect.  I'm learning about administering grace to the least of these in my home and in turn receiving it because I am so totally unworthy of it.   And to do so with joy.

This is such an amazing shift for me. My life is not so much about being a romantic comedy with a happy ending so much as it is about a divine passion of redemption of my soul!

"For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in [me] will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus."  Philippians 1:6