In Memory of a Wonderful Valentine

I LOVE Valentine's Day.  There I said it.  I love going into stores and seeing shelves covered in pinks, reds and purples.  I love all the hearts.  I love the stuffed animals.  I love the chocolates.  It all makes me feel warm and fuzzy and happy. I don't even care if it is a manufactured holiday wrapped up in commercialism.  I love the day.

Yesterday, my kids celebrated Valentine's Day at our homeschool co-op.  It was great fun...a little chaotic...but full of good memories. Last week, each kid decorated a paper Valentine bag with stickers.  This week, the bags were set up and the kids filled them with goodies for each other...well, I think mostly the parents filled the bags, but the kids loved getting the bags with all the candies, cards, pencils and stickers. It was fun to sit back and watch  kids of all ages rush in at lunchtime, eager to see what awaited them.

I get happy memories just by holding the little sticker-covered paper bags....the excitement of seeing which  friends gave the cutest valentine, or the best candy.  Watching my kids dig through the bags after school was a deeper level of joy for me as the parent.  Who doesn't love to be loved?  It feels good to be known.  It brings pleasure to our hearts to celebrate friendships.  We find rest when we are loved.

This little Valentine exchange also brought me back to another Valentine's Day that didn't feel quite so restful and pleasure-filled...at least not at first.  The setting was a high school cafeteria.  I was eating my lunch from a paper bag.  My hair was a big, curly 90's style. I was probably donning a silk shirt and vest. I was surrounded by a few close girlfriends and filled with lots of insecurities.  A guy friend (of a friend, of a friend) came by our circle on that fateful day and handed every girl a red, heart-shaped sucker...every girl, that is, except me. Yep.  There in a circle of about 5 girls, I was deliberately left out. Forsaken. Embarrassingly set apart. I was crushed.  My day was ruined.

I came home that afternoon and sobbed my eyes out.  I was too embarrassed to ever return to school.  I had no idea, at the time, about homeschooling, but if I had known, I'm sure I would have begged my mom to keep me home. My shallow semblance of  any kind of confidence was shattered forever.  Life. Was. Over.

Until my dad came home from work.  After I told him what happened, he loaded us all up into the car and we went out for dinner.  After dinner, Dad stopped for a final errand at a store and returned to our car carrying a big box of chocolate candy. Just. For. Me.  I don't remember exactly what he said, but I know it was something witty about chocolates being way better than a sucker anyway.

My dad loved to love me.  He knew me.  He celebrated my value as his daughter. He brought rest to my soul and healing to my heart by purposefully showing me his love. My Dad loved me well that day, and I am thankful for the memory of it.

 That afternoon in high school, I remember feeling unloved, broken, insecure.  But  my dad reminded me that he fully accepted me simply because I was his daughter.  I did not have to prove to him that I was worthy of  his love.  His simple act of cherishing me has helped me to be purposeful in loving others well.

My dad's gift that Valentine's night was more than just a box of chocolates.  His gift is a beautiful picture of  a deeper truth of my Heavenly Father's love for me.  It was His gift to me, not a thing I have had to earn.  Jesus' love brings rest to my soul and healing to my heart. In Him, I am fully known, fully loved, and fully accepted. Jesus loves me this I know...and I can love because He first loved me. (1 John 4:19)
 

Happy Valentine's Day, Dad. Thank you for loving me so well. I love you, too.

Why Do I Homeschool?

As a child, my personal experience in a public school setting was a positive one. I loved my school years. I was blessed with good teachers and amazing friends!  I have no bad feelings towards traditional school.  Very dear friends of mine are teachers in private and public school settings. I have other friends who send their children to private and public schools.  My journey of homeschooling begins very simply with my enjoyment of teaching and having my kids at home. 

I began researching homeschooling after my oldest was born. My husband recommended a book (which became the catalyst in my desire to teach at home) called For the Children’s Sake.  In her book, Macaulay discusses the benefits of a Charlotte Mason approach to education.  I want to begin my story with a very important reminder and quote from Macaulay:

                There will be different applications of these ideas for different families…more than that, different children within one family may need different decisions as to what educational system is best for them.  And it is important to apply Jesus’ teaching that we must not judge other peoples’ choices.  Just because I decide to send my little Tom to the local public school or a private Christian school, or because I decide to give him a home education does not mean that everyone else has to do the same. It is a complicated situation.” (pg. 8)

This is my story of how I came to homeschool my children, why I continue to homeschool, a few of my personal struggles as a homeschooling mom, and what God has been teaching me as I learn to teach my children.

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“What do you want to be when you grow up?” my second grade teacher asked.

My hand shot up into the air, “I want to be a housewife!” I enthusiastically replied.

For as long as I can remember, I wanted to be a wife and mommy.  I went onto college, because I realized the importance of having a back-up plan and because I was good at school.  I enjoyed taking tests and getting good grades.  I knew how to study and how to do well in school.  College seemed like the next logical step. Looking back, I’m so thankful for my college education because it gave me a deeper, broader worldview  than I would have had otherwise. 

In college, my first roommate was a homeschooler. I had never even heard the term “homeschooled” before meeting her. It didn’t take very long to realize a huge difference between us. While we both were “good at” school, she enjoyed learning.  She could lose herself in books for hours, and she actually retained information beyond the exam.  I loved listening to her talk because she was passionate about what she was learning. I would later meet many other homeschooled students in college, each one so wonderfully unique but with one common thread: they enjoyed learning. 

Years later, I re-read  For the Children’s Sake, and Macaulay’s ideas ignited excitement in me.  I loved the ideas presented in her book about how children are hungry for learning and are capable of far more than we give them.  They enjoy depth in learning.  Children are often not only eager to read what Charolotte Mason describes as “living books” (books that come alive, involving one’s emotions) but also to narrate the story back to others. Mason’s methods include using atmosphere, discipline and life to educate a child.  She offers that children can learn outside of the four walls of a school building, through play and daily interactions.  Macaulay described situations in which children received individual attention, followed their own interests in learning, created space for enjoying God through nature, and experienced character training through real life.   I became hooked on this idea of an alternative system of education. 

 

As I began to dig deeper into homeschooling, I began to see a beautiful picture of all the ways we could incorporate learning into…well…everything!  I began to personally fall in love with learning and then realized that I wanted my kids to fall in love with learning for the sake of learning, not for the sake of passing a test. (Though, I really do enjoy tests…I know it’s weird, but that’s what I liked about school: the tests.) So, we jumped into our homeschooling journey and I found that I really enjoy discovering alongside of my kids.  As they look at the world in wonder and amazement, I also begin to see things anew.  

It’s fun!  I homeschool because it is fun for the kids but it is fun for me too! I love being present when that “light bulb” moment occurs.  When C-A-T actually becomes a character in a living story, and suddenly they can read and want to read. I relish the moments when all the practice becomes a dinner time discussion, or when a child asks to make a time line to keep track of all the historical characters she’s been reading about!  These are the moments that make the hard work a delight. 

Most days we are finished with school by lunchtime which leaves the afternoons wide open for pursuing interests and hobbies. I have come to really appreciate this aspect of homeschooling. Currently, my daughter is delving into anything regarding horses and also learning to crochet.  My oldest son enjoys bugs.  He spends his afternoons with his “bug catcher,” journal,  and field guide.  While set school hours are a must for our family, I am learning to appreciate the beauty of learning outside of the curriculum and away from the work table.

I have discovered that I deeply enjoy spending our long days together. I enjoy the friendships that I am making with each of my children. Though my first priority is to be Parent (one who guides, instructs, disciplines and disciples my children),  if I neglect developing a friendship with each child, then I am missing out on some of the deepest connections I will ever know.  No one makes me belly-laugh quite like my kiddos!  In addition, we have time to spend on deep conversations.  My daughter seems to feel most comfortable opening up about what is on her heart during lunch.  When those conversations come up, I never regret spending extra time exploring her thoughts and growing together. 

Homeschooling isn’t without its struggles, however.  My kids have never seen the inside of a classroom except on T.V. shows like Elmo, Blue’s Clues and Sid the Science Kid.  I often feel like they think they are missing out on something. I find myself trying to make our homeschool, just like traditional school. In fact, I spent the entire first month of my homeschooling endeavors trying to be like the teacher on Sid the Science Kid.  

Wondering if I’m “messing them up” haunted me the first two years of homeschooling. I just wanted to know that they would turn out okay (Don’t we all struggle with that question?).  My mommy-guilt still gets the best of me sometimes, especially on yet another rainy day, when everyone is arguing and mommy loses her temper again or when we just do not get around to a particular project or subject.  I am prone to think that I’m probably ruining them or at best setting them back behind their peers.

 But it is on those days that I find it helpful to “reset” my perspective with truth.  I remind myself of why I homeschool and the things that we all enjoy about this journey.  I take time to look back and reflect on the areas that I see growth: academically and emotionally.  End of the school year tests have been helpful to confirm that we are on the right track, but more than that, I see in my kids an eagerness to learn and passions growing. Community is also so essential to my sanity. Surrounding myself with other homeschooling moms who have walked the road a little longer and can offer advice or a listening ear has been a gift to my soul many times! These ladies help me remember my goals. 

An unexpected product of this educational journey has been the truth that God is teaching me through homeschooling my children.  He teaches me of His everyday graces, His gifts to me simply because He loves me.  He is teaching me obedience and faithfulness to the job at hand.  He teaches me discipline and perseverance daily.  I never expected to receive character training as I trained up my children, however, patience and humility are listed daily on my lesson plans from Him.  The Lord is doing a good and faithful work in every member of this family through our homeschooling journey.

Homeschooling is absolutely THE HARDEST thing I have done so far in this life.  Honestly, every February, I think to myself that I must surely be a crazy woman to consider this endeavor.  Every August, after the excitement of school supply and curriculum shopping passes, I look at my husband and ask, “Have I taken on more than I can handle? What was I thinking?”  It is a big, scary job! (I want to mention here, that my husband has been a huge encouragement to me in this area.  He is the backbone to our family and helps to refocus my vision.)

I am certainly not perfect in all of my ideals.  As much as I want my kids to play outside and enjoy God through nature, they have watched a lot of T.V. this weekend while I cleaned and wrote this blog.  As much as I relish their creativity and want to foster exploration, I fussed and fumed when my kids made a big mess in the living room yesterday. BUT the daily grace I have learned through homeschooling is that learning takes place in all things…even in apologies and re-do’s.

Lists and Responsiblities

I am absolutely awful with charts.  Reward charts, responsibility charts, reading charts, behavior charts, allowance charts,  eat-your-veggies charts.  I look at them and dream of all the stickers that will fill those beautiful pages. I have tried them...all sorts of them.  And I'm really good at completing at least one day! And then I get distracted.

"How many minutes did you read?  Oh...I didn't time it, either.  Let's give you 3 stickers." 

"When was the last time you did your chores?  I don't remember, either.  Um...probably shouldn't give you any stickers.  Let's start over, okay?"

"You were really kind today...but how do I measure 'kindness'...let's say 5 stickers!"

BUT, I LOVE lists!  I can create lists all day long.  I make to-do lists for myself everyday. 
So, this summer, I tried a no-nonsense-to-do list approach.  And it has WORKED for us!!!

Here is our simple chore list which hangs at kid-eye-level. 

a = Abby (and yes, I realize the "a" is backwards in the picture.  We have a resident 2 year old here.)
c = Caedmon
o = Once a week duties (usually on Saturday)
e = Extras, or special jobs which results an allowance to be saved for toys they want to buy.

(I bought these really cool letter magnets for Abby about 6 years ago from Ollie's...turns out, oddly enough, that after I made my to-do lists, these letters were 4 of only 8-ish that I have left from the whole set...worked out perfectly for displaying my lists! I love when a plan comes together!)

Above the orange line are "musts".  Those things simply have to be done everyday. Below the orange line are things that are "as needed:".  For example, once Abby straightens the bookshelf, it is usually not out of order for several days. She will check it and replace any books she finds. But if it's not messy, then she can move onto the next thing.

Every Saturday, I switch the "a" and the "c".  Both kids LOVE to clean the toilet.  That is the prized list.  Both kids hate to do the bookshelf.  See, they have so much in common...and they think of themselves as complete opposites! :)

It works out great to switch the jobs every week because it gives us all a change of pace. And if one child is not particularly "good" at a job (as in, when cleaning the litter box, a certain child gets freaked out by the poop and flings it into the trash can, scattering litter all over the place) then we can all take heart that it is only for 6 more days until they can switch again.  I help where needed, but for the most part, they take care of their chores without much involvement on my part, leaving me to drink coffee and eat chocolate bon-bons. :)  (yeah right...more like washing the dishes and picking up after the 2 year old!)

Both kids have been saving up for special toys they wanted to buy.  This week, they were really motivated (that is to say, competitive) and each picked several things from the "e" list.  Not only was the house clean from regular chores, but they also cleaned the van, the fridge, the windows and even donated some toys!  A definite win for this mom!  And we celebrated by a fun-guilt-free trip to Toys-R-Us and Wal-Mart.  I may be crazy...but I'm pretty sure they have played with these new toys with extra enjoyment because of the hard work involved!

We have been using this system since May.  I think I have finally found a system that works for us!
Tell me, what works in your home?

Vikings!!

Today was not ideal.  Actually, I was not a very patient Mommy today.  We all slept late and started off half an hour later than usual.  Frustrated by the late start and by stepping on a sharp plastic toy (not a Lego, but equally as hateful to my foot), I found myself barking orders (and throwing sharp plastic toys into the trash). NOT how I like to start a Monday. I felt like I was pulling teeth to get my Kindergartener to do anything besides run in circles.  I added in math today...and well, it was a joke.  We will definitely be revisiting that lesson again tomorrow. <sigh>

Today did not feel like a win-day.

I'm thankful for re-do's and grace.  I'm thankful for my husband's encouraging words that help me persevere.

And so, we stepped aside from other tasks and delved into a book about Vikings.  We had this really big car seat box and the kids wanted to make a Viking boat. So, we came up with this:

It was fun using their ideas to create this project together. This is their drakkar (dragon ship) complete with dragon head and tail, sail and ores.

Batman had to join us...Caleb doesn't quite understand the idea of time period pretend play yet.

Leif Ericsson displaying his manly facial and chest hair.

Leif's wife. She's a hard worker...she did all of the rowing.

Abby shaped this Dragon prow for the boat.

First Day of School - Homeschool Style

I love the first day of school. I love the supplies.  I love the excitement.  I love the beginning.

Today, my kidlets begin 2nd Grade and Kindergarten.  Honestly, I did not anticipate homeschooling this far. Ha!  Kindergarten with Abby was more of an experiment.  But each year, I fall more and more in love with teaching my kids at home.

We started out with breakfast.  "K" and "2" pancakes:

Seriously, it took 5 tries to get this picture.  It's hard to sit still when you are so excited to start Kindergarten.          

These are fake glasses.  Not only do they make her look smart, the arms pop off and become pens.  She calls them her Spy Glasses.

This year, I wanted to do something a little differently to make our "school time" stand out from the rest of the day.  So, I told the kids to pack up their backpacks and get their shoes on.  They were so confused and wanted to know where they were going.  They became extra confused when I opened the door and told them they were walking to school.  Abby was actually looking for the school bus.  I think she thought I had changed my mind about homeschooling them this year.

Where are we going?

We are WALKING to school?

Deciding on the best route to the back door. ha!

See you later, Mom!

 It was fun to greet them at the back door, which happens to open up into our homeschool area.  It really made for a successful separation of home time and school time.  They came in ready to get started (after pictures, of course)!

It was a great 1st Day full of science, reading, history, Bible and art. In fact, we were so busy that I forgot to take any pictures of actual school work.  We only had one melt down.  I'm using the same curriculum for K that I used for Abby.  Caedmon sat in on most of that K program, and now feels like I'm making him redo Pre-K.  Oops!  Guess I need to revise my plan a bit to make it more challenging.  But that's a nice problem to have!  Abby loved her 2nd grade curriculum.  Have I ever mentioned how much I LOVE the My Father's World curriculum?

Today's snack was "build your own patriotic goodness".

And of course, there is a unique beauty to homeschooling...you can do your "Reading Time" with your adorable kittens, on your parent's bed:

I'm not sure who is more content. 

And, of course, they had to walk home from school too. Who knew that walking from the back door to the front door would make such a difference?  They were very happy to be "home" again.

They even told me some details about their day.  It's nice to hear good things about their teacher! :)

  Overall, it was a great start to our year!  I've added a few extras to the schedule this year such as "Book Basket Time", a time they have to read (or look through) specific books on our topic for the week.  And "Reading Time", when I let Caedmon practice using Bob Books and Abby can read anything of her choice.  And finally, I added "Alone Time", in which everyone (ahem...Mommy) gets space to be alone in order to regroup and relax a bit.
 

Here's to another great year of homeschooling!

Class of 1998 Valedictorian Speech

I came across my valedictorian speech and thought it would be fun to share on my blog.  In 1998, there were several of us Oak Hill High School valedictorians that were allowed to speak to our graduating class.  Here was my contribution:

"As we come here today to celebrate how smart we have become, I have one final exam for the class of '98.  Just four quick questions. For the OHHS class of 1988, that's just 10 years ago, how many games did the football team win?  Who was the captain of the basketball team? Who was Miss OHHS? And lastly, who was the valedictorian?
Does anyone know the answer to all these questions?

I didn't think so.

For the last four years we have defined success by these criteria. What grade did you make? Who's the most popular?

Ten years from today, who will really care if Debbie Bragg was a valedictorian?

If today's successes are forgotten so quickly, were we really successful at all? Instead of striving for things that will soon be forgotten, maybe we should define success by a different standard.

In his poem, Success, Ralph Waldo Emerson said true success means, 'to laugh often and much, to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children, to earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends, to appreciate beauty, to find the best in others, to leave the world a bit better whether by a healthy child, a garden patch, or a redeemed social condition. To know that even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded.'

Jesus Christ put it this way, feeding the hungry, helping the homeless, clothing the poor, nursing the sick, and visiting the lonely--these things will be the things which shall last.

Throughout the past four years, I have gained a great deal of knowledge in the classroom, but the greatest lesson I have learned is this: Jesus Christ gives us the guidance we need to truly be successful. He gives me the ability to overcome all limitations and the courage to stand up for my beliefs even if I'm standing alone.

Ten years from now, I don't want to be remembered for the grades I have earned. It's not the things I've done but who I've encouraged that matters. Therefore, I encourage you, the class of 1998, to blaze your own trail by finding success in things which shall last."


**Thank you to Pastor Steve Willis who was a guide and mentor during the tough high school years**

It All Comes Back To Bacon

The kids are learning about the Pilgrims and the Iroquois in history.  So, of course, all pretend play currently revolves around the things they have been learning. Today on our morning walk they decided to take their toy bows and "hunt" animals for our dinner.

I always say that Abby is my "Caedmon Translator" because I often have a hard time understanding what he is saying.  He has trouble with certain letter sounds (especially the "R" sound) and Abby is really good at deciphering his words. However, even this one was tough for her. 

This is how my conversation went with Caedmon:

C:  I just shot a wall bird!

Me: A wall bird?

C:  No. A wall bird.

Me: A Robin?

C: NO!  A WALL bird.

Abby: Oh. I know!  A ROB-ber?

C: NOOOO.  A WAAALLL bird.

Me: A wall bird? Like, a bird on a wall?

C: NOOO MOMMY!  A WALL BIRD...you know, like BACON!

Me: Ooooh!  A RAW bird. 
C: Yeah...you know it is wall before we cook it!

So, the next time  you eat bacon...remember the wall birds!!